Friendships

I probably talk about friendships

more than any other topic.

That's because I hold each one

tenderly in my heart.

Fortunate to have a group of very close friends, I am.

God knew we needed each other.

Coming from such diverse backgrounds,

interests and situations,

yet we are bonded tightly,

securely and gratefully.

I have considered my brother Kevin my best friend for many long years now.

He is tried and true, solid & committed to me.

My other best friend is also of the male species,

one who has gifted me with an example of true selfless giving.

I have learned more about living on another's behalf from

him in a few short years than any other time in my life.

Jeff's best friend, Luis, yet another man,

who has given of himself on my son's behalf

and mine as well in extraordinary ways.

(Couldn't have done it without the full

support of his wonderful wife, Joann).

**

And then there are my girlfriends

Incredible, bright, funny, wonderful girlfriends.

How could I have carried on this past decade without them?

God knew I could not.

They rose to the occasion and gifted me with prayer

when I could not pray, but felt above the fray of life

because I was being lifted UP.

They gifted me with time, treasure and talent

and they continue to do so.

I want to declare that I am grateful, blessed and deeply moved

each one bringing something I desperately needed

FRIENDSHIP, LOVE & CARE

How do I list them? So many deserve the first place on the list

but they need to be acknowledged...so here we go.

Norma, Elaine, Rose Marie, Patti

Donna, Donna, Lena, Mary

Pam, Brenda, Judy,Barb

Tina, Joann, Bernita, Jane

Margo, Connie, Maria

My goodness! This is like the Oscar thank you's...

I couldn't have done this without you

this thing we call living

Because of you I live large

and to the fullest

with wonder and delight!!!!

As I have had time to reflect on my return to California I have realized

deep within that I am healed and believe the grieving

about losing Jeff has been completed.

I am not who I was, I am profoundly changed.

The hole in my heart will not fill..nothing can fill that loss.

But I am smiling, positive and absolutely full of JOY.

So my dear friends, all of you, thank you for being there

God's hands and feet

Blessing me * Blessing me * Blessing me

xoxoxoxoxxox

Karen

DELIGHT!!

Delight yourself in the Lord;

and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

What does it mean to delight in the Lord? What does it look like to delight in the Lord? What does it feel like to you...and to Him?

The dictionary says: to thrive in, thrilled, to please, to give joy, reap.

From our women's bible study this week (Cynthia Heald: Becoming a Woman of Prayer) I learned: To delight is to REVERE, MEDITATE UPON, be HAPPY TO DO GOD's WILL, HAVE THE WORD IN MY HEART, HAVE AN APPETITE TO STUDY THE WORD, and being ONE WHO IS CALLED BY GOD.

Matthew Henry wrote: What is the desire of the heart of a good (wo)man?

It is this, to know, and love, and live to God, to please him and to be pleased in him.

This past Monday Patti's daughter and family came over for a barbecue...One handsome husband, and four little ones under 7. It was nice to be around little ones who are so well-behaved and I watched them play all day without whining or fighting. Jacob and Michael had some adventures up on the hill in the trees for hours..coming and going. Owen, 8 months, let us do tricks for him to make him laugh. He is so dang sweet with the best duck hair ever! Clara is three and she is who I want to share about with regard to DELIGHT.

Clara loves her Pa 'best.' (GrandPa) He taught her that at a very early age...Who do you like best, Clara? PA is her only answer. She obviously does adore him. She delights in him..and I must say he in her as well.

They spent about an hour in the hammock....making faces, she holding her Pa's face, talking with him, saying she loved him, best even!! They chatted back and forth and we heard much laughter and saw the joy! She was totally in tune to him and no one else. She was looking at him and no one else. She was totally focused on him. It's really hard to explain without a video or even a picture of the two of them in the hammock, but when I did my bible study lesson on Monday I was reminded that I had seen DELIGHT between Clara and Pa.

I shared that with the ladies at the bible study on Tuesday morning..it really brought tears to my eyes. Oh, that I would delight in the Lord the way little Clara was with her Pa. A good lesson--up close and personal. May it be so.

Whom have I in heaven but You?

and I have no delight or desire on earth beside You.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the rock

and firm strength of my heart, and my portion forever

Psalm 73:25-26

Pa & Clara in quieter times...

I never run out of things to share, but ...

...sometimes I love to share things from others.. not often, but today is a day that began with a devotion I now receive every morning. It resonated within my spirit and I just had to share with you. It was written by my friend, Larry, who I know from Christian Chat. Be blessed.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Matt. 5: 4

Mourn, to grieve, have sorrow. There is much in this life to cause mourning, in our own state and in those around us. God gives us two options when it comes to sorrow. We can let it eat us up and cause bitterness or we can come to Him and be comforted.

The Bible speaks of two types of sorrow. One is referred to as godly sorrow and leads us down a productive, corrective path. The other is called worldly sorrow, which leads only to bitterness, anger, self-pity, etc. But we have to also know there are times when we are simply at a moment of overwhelming grief and sorrow. This is when God moves the strongest in His comfort.

When we mourn it shows our hearts have not become callous and insensitive. When God finds a good heart, not one stony, or full of weeds, or apathetic, He finds productive ground to which to bring about the bearing of good fruit. And our Father, who is full of mercy and compassion, will give us comfort and joy.

Father, blessed be Your most holy Name, truly You are full of compassion and tender mercies. Our hearts are full of gratitude and thanksgiving for Your abundant grace. We think of all the times we have experienced Your comforting, during times so difficult we thought we could not survive them. Yet You did far beyond what we expected You to do. This give us peace, and joy, knowing by experience Your words are true, Your promises to be trusted. May Jesus be exalted and praised! Amen and amen.

Wii Fun was Way fun!!!

Wii - Bowling

Okay, over a year ago I did play Guitar Hero at my daughter's house. I didn't do well. I am always astounded by this new technology. As I remember, PONG was the first game in new technology in my day. I didn't do well at that either. But last Sunday I spent the day with my old pals Jim and Donna and their so-very-smart-and-handsome grandson, Max! I had heard that Donna bought Jim a Wii for Christmas and I wanted to bowl for sure! I'm game...it's never a surprise to me if I don't do well, but hey, I'm a great sport! (well not really)...

Donna mentioned that they had been bowling on the Wii and I jumped at the chance to bowl with Max. He was ever ready to take on another opponent, especially one of his grandmothers era! Easy win, right? HA! I didn't get it at first, but boy was this fun! I now want a Wii! Of course it was also the most exercise I have had in about 20 years. My arm hurt after the first game and I had to take a Wii (wee) break. Max won, of course. He had the moves, he knew the game, he's great at these things anyway cuz ... he is 7.5 years old. It would behoove us all to have a young child around 24/7 to help us with the new technology.

One of my friends said her teen can read a book and text message on her cell phone without looking. YIKES

I digress. Back to Wii! Okay, Max; I'm ready!! We were joking around with remarks like "I'll beat you this time!" "Oh yeah, I doubt it" "I'm better than you are" "Just watch"... and I'm not telling who said which line there. So off to game #2....and I WON!!! Yes, I did. 162 to 159 WHEW! He wasn't too happy about that but was a great sport about it. Okay, two out of three..the challenge began (after another break for my arm). We joked and harrassed each other all the way through; it was so much fun. We were laughing and having the best time. He won. He's the champ 2 out of 3. What a hoot it was to play with Max that day. Later he showed me his moves on his scooter (of course he had his helmet on) as he came down the incline on his grandma's street.

I read on AOL today that Wii bowling was dangerous. It could kill a dog! I guess a dog got in the way as his owner was playing Wii bowling and she smacked him in the head and he had to go to the vet unconscious!!!!! It would be best to stay out of the way. I mean when I was bowling I was bowling, like in a real bowling alley. I had to really swing that Wii deal to get the speed I needed to get a strike you know! It was explained to me why there was a cord around my wrist so as to not accidentally fling the wii! It could happen!

My favorite sentence from Max for the day was: "I got some moves from you, Karen" OH BOY from this old gal, he watched (he does that) and saw my perfected swing and release you see!!!! And he put it into practice too!! He beat his Dad 210 to something. YAY MAXXXXXXX - can't wait to see you again at your grandparents and have some more real techno fun!!!!!!

Don't even ask me how I did at baseball Wii, okay? Thanks.

Memories

Kevin and Jeff ** 2004

Recently I was encouraged by a dear friend to start journaling memories of my son so that I could bind them all up and have them to give to his son, Kevin when he is older. I thot it a great thing for Kevin since he was only six when his daddy died. This morning I wrote the first one and I'd like to share it with you.

***

People love to hear my Jeff stories, of which there are many! Because you lost your father early in your sweet life I want to share some of his life with you, Kevin. I love you, Mimi

SUPERMAN

I think the funniest one is when he was about three years old. We all lived in our first home in Phoenix, Arizona. He had his own small bedroom…probably 9x9. It had two twin beds in it with a window in between with drapes…by the time you read this they probably will have stopped making these types of hardware for drapes, but they were these very sharp pointy deals about three to four inches long that fit into a pleat in the drape, spaced every few inches.

Your father was good about playing in his room by himself so it went unnoticed by me that it had been quite some time since I had seen or heard him while I was busy cleaning the house. At some point I decided to look in on him.

Upon opening the door I was faced with a room that was totally in chaos and undone, and I mean totally. The drapes were off the rod, the bedspreads, sheets and pillows on the floor and the mattresses askew! I literally backed out and closed the door to regain my composure. Having taken a deep breath I reopened the door and indignantly inquired of your father, “Just who do you think you are, turning this room upside down like this?” The proud answer: “Superman!” What could I do but laugh?!

I said, "Well I’m going to put the room back together, drapes and all and then I would like you, Superman, to show me how you managed to take the drapes off the window, if you don’t mind!"

Eventually (and it took a while) the room was back in place and I said, “Begin!” Needing no further encouragement, he got up onto one of the twin beds and started jumping, jumping, jumping…with each jump managing to get a bit higher in the air…at some point he flew across to the other bed but in the process, grabbed one of those pleats on the drapes and lifted it hardware and all!

He continued going back and forth until each and every piece of hardware was out of its slot and the drapes all on the floor. Quite satisfied with himself he said: “That’s how, Mommy!!!” with great enthusiasm for a task well performed.

All I could think is what I had thought so many times before…what child is this whose mind is so imaginative? and then, oh brother am I in for it!!!

-oOo-

OK I DID IT!

I can't believe it! I actually took down my fall harvest decorations and put up Christmas. Now nicely packed away for the move are all the orange, browns and bronze colors and out comes the red, green and white making way for a shinier and brighter motif bringing forth the LIGHT of the World.

My favorite thing to unpack and hang is my Christmas Stocking. Its a knitted stocking in red, white and green stripes with my name knitted in there. It was a gift from my Godmother for my first Christmas ever! I am astounded that I haven't misplaced that all these long 65 years! Then a nativity set that was my mothers...Joseph got lost though.

I'm keeping it simple this year...no tree, no elaborate lights and just using what I have kept over the years (and I got rid of a ton of that while packing...off to Goodwill it went). I just saved some of my favorite things -- I think no more than 10. I did dress up the geese on the porch though..so cute.

I am learning simple. I am beginning to appreciate it so much. It's a much easier and peaceful way to live. As I've sorted though everything and I mean everything in the past couple of months, discarding the unnecssary, keeping only what I cherish or need, shredding til I'm shredding in my sleep all the papers of years gone by of my life and Jeff's, eating on a schedule, going to bed early and sleeping all night, becoming organized in all areas of my life I feel as though the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.(And 40 lbs off my body) :)

Sure, the 'situations' still exist that cannot be reconciled quite yet, the lack of money, the tribulations of the world in just being alive in 2008 are extraordinary and yet I feel peace and joy, deep within. Thank you Christ Jesus. You came into the world in the most simple way. Let me learn from that.

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27 KJV)

But to His disciples He said, "My peace, I leave that with you; that is My legacy. My joy, I give that to you."

Healing

Every morning I receive a wonderful photo devotional from Kenn & Lori Stilger. I've known them online since 1995 or thereabouts. Kenn is a professional photographer, as is Lori, both devoted to Jesus. If you'd like to receive their devotional, write to them at heavnlyphotos@aol.com --(That's one of their photos above. Amazing isn't it!)

Today's devotion had a picture of Mt. St. Helens in Washington State. They spoke of visiting the site and seeing the healing that had begun in the volcano itself and the land nearby. The analogy was that our God is who causes restoration such as that -- as well as healing within us is a great God. Amen to that.

If you Google Images for healing you get quite an array of options for healing. You have salves for healing, crystals for healing, stones for healing, healing centers, pictures of books offered on self-healing, a healing tears necklace, healing essences, healing massage, silent healing, musical healing, healing herbs, olive oil healing and (had I known) healings using grapes! In the hundreds of images I viewed there were three of Jesus; one with a child, one with a body of people and one healing the blind man. All the rest were of self and product. The Great Physician ignored for the most part.

At any rate, as I thought about how God is an awesome God, our healer in matters of the heart and the body. While we prayed for Jeff's healing throughout his ordeal with MS, we were quite aware that God heals physically whom He will for this shelf life of approximately 75 years while here on earth, and yet aware that the reality was the outcome of our prayers would not be what we wanted...Jeff with us for many years to come.

<-------KEVIN, my brother (and Ryan a while back)

God healed my brother of multiple myeloma which was such a beautiful miracle for all of us who love him. His doctor shakes his head, all the people in the cancer center for those years along with my brother Kevin have all passed away from this disease. Kevin never took the chemotherapy which was advised but because he was only given six months to live and there was no guarantee that the chemo would even help, he declined. While Kevin lives with the complications that occurred due to the disease, he lives pretty well and enjoys his wife and children who were 8, 6 and 4 when he was diagnosed. Now Danielle is in college and Christopher and Ryan are in high school!!! We thank the Lord for this incredible healing.

He healed Jeff in a different process...as He took him away from us and to Himself. I know a renewal of Jeff's faith occurred and that's the greatest one a mother could hope for. I will see him again. I quote my friend Jim Wilkinson, who said "You will see Jeff sooner rather than later, Karen!" Talk about comforting me with encouraging words AND telling me I'm old in such a nice way! Ya just have to laugh.

Jeff had been legally and then totally blind in the last couple of years of his journey. For his last eight months he was in the hospital for two and a hospice home for four. We knew we were losing him that weekend...we knew it would only be a couple of days before we would be without him. His coloring had been terrible for the last year, he withered away for the most part, unable to move much, so gaunt and really no color on this once vibrant sun-loving guy.

Well, his friends had made big posters with collages on all three of the 'good ole days' and they took up the length of the bed and were about 3 feet high. Colorful and a great idea so as they visited they talked about the memories they had together. I added pictures of his son, Kevin. But Jeff never saw any of those.

I had read in a hospice book that often the patient will be found looking up as if seeing something, (they feel its a loved one or a group of people they know to help them to the next level, ie. they will die soon). So every time I saw Jeff straining that way I would ask..."What are you looking at, what do you see." He would always say, "Nothing." That last day before he died, his Dad was visiting him, his hospice volunteer buddy, John was there as well when I walked in. We all chatted and Jeff fell asleep. When he woke up we all said hello again and within a few minutes Jeff was looking up at his wall...I asked, "What do you see,Jeff?" His reply was, "It's all colorful there." (he was looking at the wall of photos). He asked what it was and I told him tons of photographs of he and his buddies and his son. All of a sudden I thot: WHAT? He can see that color? I went to the end of his bed and said, "Hey, Jeff. Can you see me down here?" He looked and smiled and said "Oh yea, I can see that blonde hair of yours!" :) TEARS immediately began streaming down my face, tears of joy that his sight was being restored...John was all teary eyed and his Dad just looked dumbfounded.

Eventually his Dad and John left and I took my place next to the bed to sit with my son and visit or pray over him while he slept. He nodded off again. I sat there just looking at my precious most handsome boy who had been such a great son to me...and I realized his color was back in his face! His cheeks were rosy! Then he awoke and we visited and yet again, another odd thing. His eyes had become cloudy from the blindness over the years but at that moment they were as clear as they had ever been. I was so happy to 'see' my son as he had 'been.' Those beautiful green eyes bright and shining. I didn't know what was happening at the time, but have come to realize that God was healing him for his homeward journey. WOW!

He passed away in the early morning the next day; home and fully healed with Jesus. And yes, I'll see him sooner rather than later, and that's fine by me.

I Am The God That Healeth lyrics
Artist - Don Moen
Album - The Best Of Don Moen

I Am The God That Healeth

I am the God that healeth thee

I am the Lord your Healer

I sent My Word and I healed your disease

I am the Lord your Healer

You are the God That healeth me

You are the Lord my Healer

You sent Your Word and You healed my disease

You are the Lord my Healer

Cluttered with Conflicts

Sometimes life seems overwhelming. I have an old book of Psalms in modern language written in 1973 (Phelps, Corita - Psalms Now). I try to read one every day. I was glancing back yesterday and found one I marked as "significant" May '08. Do you ever do that? Mark some area of your Bible with a date because that area of Scripture spoke to your situation and you were encouraged by it, convicted by it or felt it necessary to highlight in bright yellow and then often months or even years later you find yourself in that passage again and wonder why it was significant ... whatever it was had come and gone.

I remember May this year though. I was worrying about provision to keep the house afloat until it was completed and ready for sale. Fretting about trying to figure out what to do to take care of the situation. I applied for loans, but hey though I have equity, I don't work (not that I hadn't been looking), the problems with those 'bad' loans were surfacing right and left and lenders were beginning to reign in their lending practices. I hit roadblocks wherever I turned. So an older woman with no job, small social security etc. made me fall into what previously would have been an easy loan with the calls that would let me know I was yet again turned down.


What I love about David's psalms is that quite often they begin complaining about his situation to God, whining even, and then as he spends time in communication with God his whole attitude changes - his outlook becomes brighter even though the circumstances are no different than when he sat down with God. By the end of these types of psalms you find him totally praising God. This is the miracle of the Holy Spirit's work, isn't it! It's totally supernatural!!! Why we do not take our problems to God right away is just because we are as dumb as sheep! At any rate, in May this year I was conflicted and this Psalm spoke to my situation and I too was renewed by God.

Be encouraged. Spend time with God. He likes it and we benefit in ways we cannot comprehend it's so mysterious, yet real.

"O God,
my life is cluttered up with conflicts.
And there are times when you seem so oblivious to it all.
The pitfalls before me, the weaknesses within me -
all this is most depressing.
I feel as if I am groping in utter darkness.

Break into my darkness, O God.
Set me free from my hang-ups.
May these daily pressures that threaten to strangle me
drive me to Your fountainhead of grace.
Then night will give way to the dawn,
depression shall resolve into joy,
and I shall sing Your promises once more.

O foolish spirit,
why do you fret over so many things?
God is here!
He knows all about your troubles and trials.
Renew your faith in Him, and rejoice.

I shall rejoice!
No matter how black the night,
God is ever-present and eternal Hope."

Psalm 43