Happy Birthday, Jeff

There you are on top of Machu Picchu, Peru. Looks like you were viewing heaven itself and now you've been with Jesus for almost four years. It's hard to believe as sometimes it feels like a few months and yet other times its like been forever. I miss you, my son. The world had you for 41 years and you had the world wide open as you traveled and had one adventure after another. I was always proud of you in everything you accomplished and in the humble person you remained. In your MS fight you remained brave and hopeful and yet accepting of each and every day. You showed me what can be done in spite of such an illness. You never lacked integrity, found humor in most things and loved the little things of life that became major to you as you struggled. Now you are out of the struggle and safe in His arms. On that note I take great pleasure knowing you no longer suffer with pain and also that I will indeed see you again one day for all eternity!!!! Happy Birthday!

Words to Live By - Jeff Cadle

Today would have been Jeff's 44th birthday. I'm posting something I found in his computer shortly before he passed away.

A friend on Facebook sent it to me as a reminder...sweet of you Jennie. Thanks.

WORDS TO LIVE BY

My goal is to find the middle road - in work, home and social life.

I will pay attention to my level of stress and strive to take deep breaths and center myself.


I will develop the ability to recover from setbacks and validate my self-worthin areas of true relaxation.

I will continue to notice when I am disappearing and remind myself of thecomforts of my home, family and friends.

I will balance my needs for alone time and time with others.

Live your dreams.

Take time to smell the flowers.

Remember you are only visiting.

Be good to your fellow humans (and animals too).

Be there for your family and friends.Be above pettiness.Live below your means.

Be prepared for the inevitable rainy day.

No excuses! Take responsibility for your own life.

Be honest and loyal.

Don't take everything so seriously (especially yourself)

Have some fun!

Grow things!

Enjoy nature and be aware of the simple pleasures of life.

There is more to life than success, work and money.

There are many more important non-material considerations.

Use your own noggin.

Trust your instincts.

Think before you act.

A guilty conscience is not worth the effort. Just don't do it!

You reap what you sow, but sometimes your crops will die.

Try to find the good in people and understand the bad.

Look upon everyone you meet as a holy person (for they are).

For every rule there exists a valid exception. Use rules properly. Many rules are stupid.

Plow a field.

-J. Cadle

I have papers he wrote prayers to the Lord upon as well...he was a tender man who lived the above. But those are sacred and I'll just keep those to myself. The originals are in a box for his son when he is old enough to need them.

(After I saved this I checked and noticed on my blog page the SNIPPET for the day...love it.)
He was a delight!!

Shoes...and the death of four sons.

I have been going to write this particular blog all week, but never could find the words. Tonight I think the words have found me. Bear with me as I struggle to dovetail my love of men's shoes and the death of four sons.


I have a thing about men's shoes. It's my father's fault. When teaching me the fine art of finding a good man he said that you must first look at their fingernails to make sure they are clean and then look at their shoes. You can tell a lot about a person if you observe their shoes. Are they shined? Do they have run down heels or are they perfect? Are they in good taste, and all that. So from then on I was stuck always observing men's shoes..and fingernails. You know how people in elevators always look down...I was busy checking out the men's shoes!


I went to a memorial this past week for a young father of three children. I sat with my friends, Norma and Duane who lost their son Troy four years ago to cancer, leaving behind two daughters. Our son Jeff died three years ago this June, leaving one son. Two rows behind us sat Todd and Trina who lost their college age son Matthew two years ago. Now in the front row last Saturday sat Mr. & Mrs. Nunes, who lost their son, John, to leukemia just a week prior. All of these sons died between the ages of 19 and 49. We parents are left to deal with the grief and lean heavily upon Jesus to help us through the journey.




We get these darling little babies without shoes.So precious!!!Please note Jeff's no-frills bedding!! Again, quite different from today's trendy-themed-nurseries...but that's another blog!



It didn't seem like long before they were ready to walk outside and need their first pair of good shoes. This used to be HUGE in my era (eons ago).. they have to be GOOD sturdy, hard-soled shoes. Often their grandmothers bought them because they were pretty expensive. We suffered many an injury when stomped on accidentally by our sons in these hard soled shoes too!!






Then it was time for a pair of tennis shoes for casual wear.Cute, arent they! I tell you the truth, I don't know that I was prepared to be a mother at age 22. In my day you got married and had some children. There wasn't much more thought about it either. So at age 22 Jeff entered my life. He was a fussy little guy who kept me on the move with his bad moods and antics from the get go! One night when he was over a year old, I was picking up the living room. He finally had gone to sleep. His little pair of tennis shoes similar to the ones above were sitting on the coffee table.



They gave me pause (probably the first pause I had in regard to having a child). I picked up the shoes and held them in my hand just thinking about how cute they were, the cutiepie who wore them and I was overcome with emotion as to the responsibility I had now rearing this boy of mine. Still today when I see a little pair of tennis shoes I remember that night. My eyes were opened along with my mind and my heart all at the same time just because of one tiny pair of tennis shoes.



In no time at all the boys wanted guns, cowboy hats and cowboy boots!



After that, shoewear stayed about the same for many years...tennis shoes. Who doesn't remember their first pair of nice Nikes!



When you consider it, men really do need a lot of pairs of shoes.


It was a shock to me as a mother to find out that when my son started playing sports, a different pair of shoes was needed for each sport. His father explained to me that not just any shoe would do. They had to be sport specific!!! I was miffed about the cost for so many pairs of shoes for one young man! First he played baseball...

then basketball


then golf

and tennis (WENT THROUGH MANY PAIRS OF REAL TENNIS SHOES ON THAT SPORT)!!!!!





First dress loafer...
beach wear

...job interview...and getting married shoes...

and back to bare feet whenever possible!!

-ooOoo-

We are all created by God as unique human beings

so no one can really fill the shoes of these men for their families.

Each had faith in Jesus and are with Him today for all eternity.

It is good to remember and thank God

for His Word which reminds us in Psalm 68:5 that

God is a Father to the Fatherless.

I take great comfort in that for the children of our sons.

May they wear their shoes in the same humble ways of their

own fathers, caring for others along the way and

living active and meaningful lives.

I was no more prepared to lose my son when he was 41 as I was to welcome him when I was 22.

I thank God for leaving the Comforter. I know Him well.

Hug your children tightly.

--ooOoo-

Memories

Kevin and Jeff ** 2004

Recently I was encouraged by a dear friend to start journaling memories of my son so that I could bind them all up and have them to give to his son, Kevin when he is older. I thot it a great thing for Kevin since he was only six when his daddy died. This morning I wrote the first one and I'd like to share it with you.

***

People love to hear my Jeff stories, of which there are many! Because you lost your father early in your sweet life I want to share some of his life with you, Kevin. I love you, Mimi

SUPERMAN

I think the funniest one is when he was about three years old. We all lived in our first home in Phoenix, Arizona. He had his own small bedroom…probably 9x9. It had two twin beds in it with a window in between with drapes…by the time you read this they probably will have stopped making these types of hardware for drapes, but they were these very sharp pointy deals about three to four inches long that fit into a pleat in the drape, spaced every few inches.

Your father was good about playing in his room by himself so it went unnoticed by me that it had been quite some time since I had seen or heard him while I was busy cleaning the house. At some point I decided to look in on him.

Upon opening the door I was faced with a room that was totally in chaos and undone, and I mean totally. The drapes were off the rod, the bedspreads, sheets and pillows on the floor and the mattresses askew! I literally backed out and closed the door to regain my composure. Having taken a deep breath I reopened the door and indignantly inquired of your father, “Just who do you think you are, turning this room upside down like this?” The proud answer: “Superman!” What could I do but laugh?!

I said, "Well I’m going to put the room back together, drapes and all and then I would like you, Superman, to show me how you managed to take the drapes off the window, if you don’t mind!"

Eventually (and it took a while) the room was back in place and I said, “Begin!” Needing no further encouragement, he got up onto one of the twin beds and started jumping, jumping, jumping…with each jump managing to get a bit higher in the air…at some point he flew across to the other bed but in the process, grabbed one of those pleats on the drapes and lifted it hardware and all!

He continued going back and forth until each and every piece of hardware was out of its slot and the drapes all on the floor. Quite satisfied with himself he said: “That’s how, Mommy!!!” with great enthusiasm for a task well performed.

All I could think is what I had thought so many times before…what child is this whose mind is so imaginative? and then, oh brother am I in for it!!!

-oOo-

Healing

Every morning I receive a wonderful photo devotional from Kenn & Lori Stilger. I've known them online since 1995 or thereabouts. Kenn is a professional photographer, as is Lori, both devoted to Jesus. If you'd like to receive their devotional, write to them at heavnlyphotos@aol.com --(That's one of their photos above. Amazing isn't it!)

Today's devotion had a picture of Mt. St. Helens in Washington State. They spoke of visiting the site and seeing the healing that had begun in the volcano itself and the land nearby. The analogy was that our God is who causes restoration such as that -- as well as healing within us is a great God. Amen to that.

If you Google Images for healing you get quite an array of options for healing. You have salves for healing, crystals for healing, stones for healing, healing centers, pictures of books offered on self-healing, a healing tears necklace, healing essences, healing massage, silent healing, musical healing, healing herbs, olive oil healing and (had I known) healings using grapes! In the hundreds of images I viewed there were three of Jesus; one with a child, one with a body of people and one healing the blind man. All the rest were of self and product. The Great Physician ignored for the most part.

At any rate, as I thought about how God is an awesome God, our healer in matters of the heart and the body. While we prayed for Jeff's healing throughout his ordeal with MS, we were quite aware that God heals physically whom He will for this shelf life of approximately 75 years while here on earth, and yet aware that the reality was the outcome of our prayers would not be what we wanted...Jeff with us for many years to come.

<-------KEVIN, my brother (and Ryan a while back)

God healed my brother of multiple myeloma which was such a beautiful miracle for all of us who love him. His doctor shakes his head, all the people in the cancer center for those years along with my brother Kevin have all passed away from this disease. Kevin never took the chemotherapy which was advised but because he was only given six months to live and there was no guarantee that the chemo would even help, he declined. While Kevin lives with the complications that occurred due to the disease, he lives pretty well and enjoys his wife and children who were 8, 6 and 4 when he was diagnosed. Now Danielle is in college and Christopher and Ryan are in high school!!! We thank the Lord for this incredible healing.

He healed Jeff in a different process...as He took him away from us and to Himself. I know a renewal of Jeff's faith occurred and that's the greatest one a mother could hope for. I will see him again. I quote my friend Jim Wilkinson, who said "You will see Jeff sooner rather than later, Karen!" Talk about comforting me with encouraging words AND telling me I'm old in such a nice way! Ya just have to laugh.

Jeff had been legally and then totally blind in the last couple of years of his journey. For his last eight months he was in the hospital for two and a hospice home for four. We knew we were losing him that weekend...we knew it would only be a couple of days before we would be without him. His coloring had been terrible for the last year, he withered away for the most part, unable to move much, so gaunt and really no color on this once vibrant sun-loving guy.

Well, his friends had made big posters with collages on all three of the 'good ole days' and they took up the length of the bed and were about 3 feet high. Colorful and a great idea so as they visited they talked about the memories they had together. I added pictures of his son, Kevin. But Jeff never saw any of those.

I had read in a hospice book that often the patient will be found looking up as if seeing something, (they feel its a loved one or a group of people they know to help them to the next level, ie. they will die soon). So every time I saw Jeff straining that way I would ask..."What are you looking at, what do you see." He would always say, "Nothing." That last day before he died, his Dad was visiting him, his hospice volunteer buddy, John was there as well when I walked in. We all chatted and Jeff fell asleep. When he woke up we all said hello again and within a few minutes Jeff was looking up at his wall...I asked, "What do you see,Jeff?" His reply was, "It's all colorful there." (he was looking at the wall of photos). He asked what it was and I told him tons of photographs of he and his buddies and his son. All of a sudden I thot: WHAT? He can see that color? I went to the end of his bed and said, "Hey, Jeff. Can you see me down here?" He looked and smiled and said "Oh yea, I can see that blonde hair of yours!" :) TEARS immediately began streaming down my face, tears of joy that his sight was being restored...John was all teary eyed and his Dad just looked dumbfounded.

Eventually his Dad and John left and I took my place next to the bed to sit with my son and visit or pray over him while he slept. He nodded off again. I sat there just looking at my precious most handsome boy who had been such a great son to me...and I realized his color was back in his face! His cheeks were rosy! Then he awoke and we visited and yet again, another odd thing. His eyes had become cloudy from the blindness over the years but at that moment they were as clear as they had ever been. I was so happy to 'see' my son as he had 'been.' Those beautiful green eyes bright and shining. I didn't know what was happening at the time, but have come to realize that God was healing him for his homeward journey. WOW!

He passed away in the early morning the next day; home and fully healed with Jesus. And yes, I'll see him sooner rather than later, and that's fine by me.

I Am The God That Healeth lyrics
Artist - Don Moen
Album - The Best Of Don Moen

I Am The God That Healeth

I am the God that healeth thee

I am the Lord your Healer

I sent My Word and I healed your disease

I am the Lord your Healer

You are the God That healeth me

You are the Lord my Healer

You sent Your Word and You healed my disease

You are the Lord my Healer