You

You

Miss you,Jeff...the tear in the heart is huge....

The hurt I hold inside me

Two things happened today. A friend posted a YouTube video of Bebo singing "Cover Me" and I received a thank you note from my grandson Kevin for the two books I sent him for his eighth birthday.

A tear was shed for the thank you note. His mother won't let me see my grandson ... (she won't answer why) only twice since his daddy passed away in 2006. Sometimes no thank you notes for little cards with money or presents at Christmas and birthdays....so today was wonderful in that I could see his printing and know I am still called "MiMi".

It was after that that I heard the Bebo Song Cover Me and really liked it so I listened to many more and then heard "I will Lift My Eyes". What a wonderful song!

When it came to the line: The healer of the hurt I hold inside me, it got me thinking. Thinking about the hurt I do have about the situation. I can forgive her and do pray for her, but how does that hurt heal without me actually getting to be with my grandson...it seems a permanent tear to me. Of course God and I have talked about this many times. I manage to get through the day obviously, but it's there,always there. I think it hurts more because his own daddy is not in his life and feel that I could give him so much for that vacant spot...never to fill that for him, but to help him on the way. God has not allowed this for whatever reason.

Everyone has hurts; I am no different. Big hurts, little hurts...These trials and tribulations teach us great wisdom and knowledge as we surrender our egos and pride. God always has a better plan than any we can dream for ourselves!! Some things have to be removed from our lives in order to fulfill His intention for us.

So how do we move through and not let those hurts affect us negatively? The Enemy would have us ruminate and ponder and drive ourselves nuts until we lose all our peace and any effectiveness we might ever have toward serving God and loving others.

Conversely, Jesus tells us to forgive our enemies (small cap), pray, think on things that are lovely and pure, move outside ourselves and focus on the purpose and meaning to why we are here...serving others as unto the Lord, sharing the hope in Him who is able to keep us from falling and to present us before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy! Jude 1:24

Forgiveness isn't always 'easy', far from it, but God always has a better way...and when we forgive it is we who are set free. It's not like the other person cares much anyway! God's ways are better .. we surrender to Him and He takes that and turns it to our benefit. How blessed to be set free from the repurcutions of unforgiveness such as bitterness. Have you ever been around a truly bitter person? It isn't good, nice or fun. They usually end up very much alone in terms of great friendships and have few acquaintances as well.

I want to live life to the fullest being on the path God has set for me. I want to enjoy His presence in my life. I don't want to be held back by character qualities that don't let me DANCE the life the Lord gives me each and every day.

I'm thinking one way to move through this hurt I have held inside me is to help the 8 year old sunday school class or volunteer at the 4th grade grammer school in some capacity...or just find an eight-year-old who needs a pal. God will bring it to me. I know this because as I pondered all of this the Holy Spirit placed the thoughts into my mind.

YouTube - I Will Lift My Eyes - Bebo Norman (with lyrics)

I will lift my eyes to the One whose throne is in heaven. Psalm 123:1

The LORD heard my prayer for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer. Psalm 6:9

I pray you let the Holy Spirit move in your life today

and heal you free from any hurt you have in you.

Blessings

I never run out of things to share, but ...

...sometimes I love to share things from others.. not often, but today is a day that began with a devotion I now receive every morning. It resonated within my spirit and I just had to share with you. It was written by my friend, Larry, who I know from Christian Chat. Be blessed.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Matt. 5: 4

Mourn, to grieve, have sorrow. There is much in this life to cause mourning, in our own state and in those around us. God gives us two options when it comes to sorrow. We can let it eat us up and cause bitterness or we can come to Him and be comforted.

The Bible speaks of two types of sorrow. One is referred to as godly sorrow and leads us down a productive, corrective path. The other is called worldly sorrow, which leads only to bitterness, anger, self-pity, etc. But we have to also know there are times when we are simply at a moment of overwhelming grief and sorrow. This is when God moves the strongest in His comfort.

When we mourn it shows our hearts have not become callous and insensitive. When God finds a good heart, not one stony, or full of weeds, or apathetic, He finds productive ground to which to bring about the bearing of good fruit. And our Father, who is full of mercy and compassion, will give us comfort and joy.

Father, blessed be Your most holy Name, truly You are full of compassion and tender mercies. Our hearts are full of gratitude and thanksgiving for Your abundant grace. We think of all the times we have experienced Your comforting, during times so difficult we thought we could not survive them. Yet You did far beyond what we expected You to do. This give us peace, and joy, knowing by experience Your words are true, Your promises to be trusted. May Jesus be exalted and praised! Amen and amen.

Community

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing,

but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching. - Hebrews 10:25 (NIV)

This was a difficult day. My emotions got the best of me. I struggled with the questions of why the house is not selling, the worries of how to pay my bills, and just a general sadness for the loss of family in my life. No, I didn't run to the Word. I needed prayer. I needed someone up close and personal to pray for me. I don't know anyone up here like that so I called my pal Rose Marie. I knew she was at work and looked up the number. I remembered again back to my days working in church where people would call and ask me to pray for them...people I knew and people I didn't know.

Once I got myself together I was able to blurt out..."Is anyone near you?" "No." "gulp, gulp...I need prayer Rose Marie; I need you to pray for me. I feel overwhelmed. Can you, will you?" "Of course." And she prayed...and I cried...and she prayed and I cried. And she prayed...and I was able to get out the thank you. Then we talked about it a bit. We had a good talk. It's good to talk things out, to have a listening ear, to be comforted and assured and encouraged. I am grateful to my friend, Rose Marie today... and every day. Thank you.

God knows what He is talking about when he says to not give up the meeting together. That is about church. The church building is where you can form friendships of a lifetme with a common goal in living as best we can our spiritual walk. When I look at the people who are still in my life so many of them are people I met at church. People who I fellowshipped and worshipped with, done bible studies with, played games with, ate with, traveled with and loved in community. Let me assure you we are not all little peas in a pod with the same little darling personalities, and same little purses or shoes. We have varied interests, talents, and opinions. We are the Church.

Who would I have called today when in such an emotional place if not someone who I knew would pray for me? I guess I could have called a prayer line from a TV show, but how wonderful to be able to call a friend who knows me well, warts and all and is happy to help me in any way she can.

I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful to the Lord for placing me in a wonderful community of believers over many many years now. I hope this writing today would encourage you to find a church community. It can be scary. Everyone is human there, even the pastors. Nothing and no one is perfect or even close to it. But I encourage you anyway. Like the little Mary Engelbreit poster says: Why not go out on a limb? That's where all the fruit is! So true, so true. I imagine you have a lot give (God uses everyone) and you just may need someone to pray for you in a difficult season. Church...people loving Jesus as best they can by loving others. It's good. It's sunshine. It's love.