Shoes...and the death of four sons.

I have been going to write this particular blog all week, but never could find the words. Tonight I think the words have found me. Bear with me as I struggle to dovetail my love of men's shoes and the death of four sons.


I have a thing about men's shoes. It's my father's fault. When teaching me the fine art of finding a good man he said that you must first look at their fingernails to make sure they are clean and then look at their shoes. You can tell a lot about a person if you observe their shoes. Are they shined? Do they have run down heels or are they perfect? Are they in good taste, and all that. So from then on I was stuck always observing men's shoes..and fingernails. You know how people in elevators always look down...I was busy checking out the men's shoes!


I went to a memorial this past week for a young father of three children. I sat with my friends, Norma and Duane who lost their son Troy four years ago to cancer, leaving behind two daughters. Our son Jeff died three years ago this June, leaving one son. Two rows behind us sat Todd and Trina who lost their college age son Matthew two years ago. Now in the front row last Saturday sat Mr. & Mrs. Nunes, who lost their son, John, to leukemia just a week prior. All of these sons died between the ages of 19 and 49. We parents are left to deal with the grief and lean heavily upon Jesus to help us through the journey.




We get these darling little babies without shoes.So precious!!!Please note Jeff's no-frills bedding!! Again, quite different from today's trendy-themed-nurseries...but that's another blog!



It didn't seem like long before they were ready to walk outside and need their first pair of good shoes. This used to be HUGE in my era (eons ago).. they have to be GOOD sturdy, hard-soled shoes. Often their grandmothers bought them because they were pretty expensive. We suffered many an injury when stomped on accidentally by our sons in these hard soled shoes too!!






Then it was time for a pair of tennis shoes for casual wear.Cute, arent they! I tell you the truth, I don't know that I was prepared to be a mother at age 22. In my day you got married and had some children. There wasn't much more thought about it either. So at age 22 Jeff entered my life. He was a fussy little guy who kept me on the move with his bad moods and antics from the get go! One night when he was over a year old, I was picking up the living room. He finally had gone to sleep. His little pair of tennis shoes similar to the ones above were sitting on the coffee table.



They gave me pause (probably the first pause I had in regard to having a child). I picked up the shoes and held them in my hand just thinking about how cute they were, the cutiepie who wore them and I was overcome with emotion as to the responsibility I had now rearing this boy of mine. Still today when I see a little pair of tennis shoes I remember that night. My eyes were opened along with my mind and my heart all at the same time just because of one tiny pair of tennis shoes.



In no time at all the boys wanted guns, cowboy hats and cowboy boots!



After that, shoewear stayed about the same for many years...tennis shoes. Who doesn't remember their first pair of nice Nikes!



When you consider it, men really do need a lot of pairs of shoes.


It was a shock to me as a mother to find out that when my son started playing sports, a different pair of shoes was needed for each sport. His father explained to me that not just any shoe would do. They had to be sport specific!!! I was miffed about the cost for so many pairs of shoes for one young man! First he played baseball...

then basketball


then golf

and tennis (WENT THROUGH MANY PAIRS OF REAL TENNIS SHOES ON THAT SPORT)!!!!!





First dress loafer...
beach wear

...job interview...and getting married shoes...

and back to bare feet whenever possible!!

-ooOoo-

We are all created by God as unique human beings

so no one can really fill the shoes of these men for their families.

Each had faith in Jesus and are with Him today for all eternity.

It is good to remember and thank God

for His Word which reminds us in Psalm 68:5 that

God is a Father to the Fatherless.

I take great comfort in that for the children of our sons.

May they wear their shoes in the same humble ways of their

own fathers, caring for others along the way and

living active and meaningful lives.

I was no more prepared to lose my son when he was 41 as I was to welcome him when I was 22.

I thank God for leaving the Comforter. I know Him well.

Hug your children tightly.

--ooOoo-

Way to Go! Olympics 2008

I love swimming and I always have. Many great memories of summers in the sun, zinc oxide carefully placed upon my nose, laughing with friends, racing in the pool...even synchronized swimming with nose plug in place, toes pointed, routines completed after long, exhausting and rigorous practices of just swimming laps to create endurance. Coaches encouraging and demanding all at the same time. But there was nothing like the day of the 'performance' itself. Familes in place in the stands, whooping it up, calling your name, clapping in appreciation when it was all over.

So I am enjoying the swimming events in the Olympics this year. I love the gymnasts too although I've never ever stood on a balancing bar. Sand in my toes is not my idea of fun so volleyball on the beach never appealed to me. We have such great olympians from the USA. We take great pride in their accomplishments and yell and clap when they win -- right in the privacy of our own homes, even sitting alone!

What brings a smile to my face each time Michael Phelps finishes his race he looks to the stands to see his Mother, Deborah Phelps who is, of course, overjoyed and hyperexcited that her son has won another gold medal. The story of how Michael got into swimming is interesting since he was a child diagnosed with ADHD - between Deborah and his physician they felt that sport would help him focus. Well I guess that worked! :)

It's always been intersting to me to see super heros look for that approval from their mothers in the stands....NFL players saying, "Hi, Mom" to the tv cameras, watching my own son, Jeff, as he grew up playing tennis, basketball, softball, and being on a swimteam for a few years, do the same exact thing....'Hey Ma, look at me; I won!""

Mothers can be the best cheerleaders, the best encouragers! A "way to go" from a mom means the world to them. I'm not leaving out fathers...look at Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods! You know they were encouraged as well, but dads have the rules, the systems, the timers, and the advice. Moms just yell, "Way to go, my child!" High five's abounding. I know there are moms who drive their children with the rules, systems, timers and advice....but most of us just want our kids to know they can be anything they desire to be if they just give it their best...whatever that is...so we encourage them to the hilt to do so. We provide the opportunities available in the community, the resources and our time to make sure it happens.

It's really how we should be with everyone we meet. Find the best, encourage and root them on to individual victories whether they be physical, emotional or spiritual. We should do whatever it takes - opportunities, resources, time and the spoken word. Most people hear negativity day in and out and that is what they remember. We can be the vessels that provide the soothing balm of spoken encouragement.

I was encouraged by a friend in the Lord today who had noticed I had not blogged in a few days. It helped to read her words to me just sharing that she was glad I was blogging and that she felt I had a lot to share. What a difference that encouragement made. It lifted me back up, set me toward my blog site and what was on my heart for this day. Thanks Lori.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." ~ I Thessalonians 5:11~