Friday, May 15, 2009

Tears of Transition

And God shall wipe away all tears of their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain:
for the former things are passed away.
Revelation 21:4
That's Niagara Falls in the photo...a bucketload of water to be sure. If broken down into teardrops that have spilled from my eyes over the past several years, I'm pretty sure I could match it head on in volume.
Dealing with family issues, a divorce, caregiving for my son with MS to his death in June of 2006, financial difficulties unlike any others in my life, remodeling his home and selling it just last month has brought an incredible amount of stress to the forefront. I admit it has been difficult, but share again with you all the incredible depth of comfort I have received from Jesus in the process. He IS my strength when I am weak. (And, oh am I weak). He IS my Comforter. He IS my all in all.

You keep track of all my sorrows.You have collected all my tears in your bottle.You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8
Isn't that an incredible verse!!!! Our God cares for us in ways we cannot even fathom. He is so far out of any box we can try to put around him with our limited minds. Yet, He has our backs! What a relief. What a joy. I have had many tears leaving Jeff's home with all our memories made there with his little son,Kevin. Memories of Jeff in his backyard that he took so much pleasure in...especially his downtime resting in his hammock. Memories of struggles trying to find our way in this disease together. Memories of his brave and humorous approach to life. Our conversations were full of deep meaning and MUCH laughter....all very tender to me right now. I take these with me, my great treasures ... memories of my son and my time with him in his last years.
Sassy Lass has been in transition for quite some time. I've landed in Hayden Lake ID from Northern California now. I'll be staying with my brother and his family for awhile and it is so gracious of them to let me do so. It's so beautiful here...I can't believe I left here seven-and-a-half years ago to go take care of Jeff. Full circle!
None of us knows what lies ahead...I suppose we could really say that we are all in transition. We may make our plans and try to pave the way, but God has gone before us and He will have His way. May His will be done in my life as I continue to transition with Him. I am so grateful for His presence within me.

1 comment:

Janeen said...

Hello my beautiful friend! I'm glad to see that you are resettled now as I wasn't sure when you were going to arrive. Wow, I can't believe it's been 7 years since you left either, whew... so much as happened hasn't it? I hope you enjoy your summer with your family and this transition time until you decide with God where He will lead you next. As you already know, rarely do our plans resemble His. I've got a card for you that I will put in the mail now that I know you are there! Have a wonderful week and know that you are loved!