Missing him ...

The first picture is of my son in Machu Pichu, Peru and the second surfing in Costa Rica...the third is his handsome face.

Today I'm just missing my son, Jeff, who died June 9, 2006 at the age of 41. I'm happy he is with the Lord and out of pain...but dang, I miss my boy! I was his caregiver for 5 years as he struggled with MS; it was my joy to do so. He had a great sense of humor which he wore well even as his disease progressed so quickly in a downward spiral. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't say thank you. He was very brave about the way his life had turned and was an example to many always.

Any peace and comfort I have is from trusting and knowing God is perfect and sees the bigger picture. I'm grateful for His grace and grateful He is comforting me in this grieving journey.


John 14:18, "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."

SHE WHO LAUGHS ... LASTS!!

I'm happy to be a sanguine personality.

I prefer it over all the others!

The Philosopher who subscribed to these

was Hippocrates**Physician/Scientist

The four personalities are: Melancholy, Choleric, Phlegmatic and Sanguine

I know that melancholy personalities are deep and artistic, intelligent and logical. That's nice to be so gifted. Cholerics scare me...so what if they are born leaders? So what if they get a lot accomplished? Control is their deal...but at what cost? I was told it was easy to get along with a choleric...just do what they say, do it NOW and do it 100% perfectly. Phegmatics are easy-going and relaxed and a bit unmotivated. Sanguines are happy, enthusiastic, partiers!!! They can drive all the other types nutzo!!!!!

Each personality is usually a blend of two...but one will generally be far greater in percentage. (My minor personality is a phlegmatic.) You can take tests on line to find out what you are and what your strengths and weaknesses are in order to understand yourself and others!! If you'd like a good site, one is: onelshy.com.

Obviously God created all of us - and gave us the basic personalities which are often skewed by people or life experiences in our youth which change us, but the basics remain...and God doesn't take them away when we commit to Christ and His ways. Because the Holy Spirit is also "Convicter" we are often reminded of our weaknesses. It's best to let God work on those (that clay on the wheel deal) so that we become a light to others and are able to serve each other in a more positive way.

I was reading my list of weaknesses and don't agree with 50% of them!!! I love the positive attributes though, I am just the type of person I like to be with. HAHAHA. Actually I have come to appreciate each individual and do my best to be accepting of those vastly different than me. I have quite a few pals who are not sanguine and I enjoy their company immensely as well...I learn a lot from them in terms of discipline, logic, organization, and hear thoughts so deep I wonder if I have a brain at all!!!!

The little image above is by Mary Engelbreit, my favorite artist..oh yea I like the Impressionists, but who can afford that art? ;) Mary just creates the greatest cards and tons of other things...many of which are in my kitchen. Nothing beige about Mary E. All primary colors, bolding announcing in the best of ways, her views on life.

I use the image "SHE WHO LAUGHS....LASTS" as my computer wallpaper to remind myself that this is the true me and on my 'down' days its a good reminder to get that smile going again! It's not denial - it's good physiology.. if you smile when you are depressed, something in your innards sends rushes of seratonin as if you ran many miles and have that "Oh boy this is a great day" feeling!! It's also biblical to be cheerful! I want to last. I want to go the distance.

A CHEERFUL HEART IS GOOD MEDICINE

Proverbs 17:22

Way to Go! Olympics 2008

I love swimming and I always have. Many great memories of summers in the sun, zinc oxide carefully placed upon my nose, laughing with friends, racing in the pool...even synchronized swimming with nose plug in place, toes pointed, routines completed after long, exhausting and rigorous practices of just swimming laps to create endurance. Coaches encouraging and demanding all at the same time. But there was nothing like the day of the 'performance' itself. Familes in place in the stands, whooping it up, calling your name, clapping in appreciation when it was all over.

So I am enjoying the swimming events in the Olympics this year. I love the gymnasts too although I've never ever stood on a balancing bar. Sand in my toes is not my idea of fun so volleyball on the beach never appealed to me. We have such great olympians from the USA. We take great pride in their accomplishments and yell and clap when they win -- right in the privacy of our own homes, even sitting alone!

What brings a smile to my face each time Michael Phelps finishes his race he looks to the stands to see his Mother, Deborah Phelps who is, of course, overjoyed and hyperexcited that her son has won another gold medal. The story of how Michael got into swimming is interesting since he was a child diagnosed with ADHD - between Deborah and his physician they felt that sport would help him focus. Well I guess that worked! :)

It's always been intersting to me to see super heros look for that approval from their mothers in the stands....NFL players saying, "Hi, Mom" to the tv cameras, watching my own son, Jeff, as he grew up playing tennis, basketball, softball, and being on a swimteam for a few years, do the same exact thing....'Hey Ma, look at me; I won!""

Mothers can be the best cheerleaders, the best encouragers! A "way to go" from a mom means the world to them. I'm not leaving out fathers...look at Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods! You know they were encouraged as well, but dads have the rules, the systems, the timers, and the advice. Moms just yell, "Way to go, my child!" High five's abounding. I know there are moms who drive their children with the rules, systems, timers and advice....but most of us just want our kids to know they can be anything they desire to be if they just give it their best...whatever that is...so we encourage them to the hilt to do so. We provide the opportunities available in the community, the resources and our time to make sure it happens.

It's really how we should be with everyone we meet. Find the best, encourage and root them on to individual victories whether they be physical, emotional or spiritual. We should do whatever it takes - opportunities, resources, time and the spoken word. Most people hear negativity day in and out and that is what they remember. We can be the vessels that provide the soothing balm of spoken encouragement.

I was encouraged by a friend in the Lord today who had noticed I had not blogged in a few days. It helped to read her words to me just sharing that she was glad I was blogging and that she felt I had a lot to share. What a difference that encouragement made. It lifted me back up, set me toward my blog site and what was on my heart for this day. Thanks Lori.

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." ~ I Thessalonians 5:11~

Am I really sassy?

1 : impudent (naw)

2 2 : vigorous, lively (well...you can see the picture)

3 : distinctively smart and stylish (You cannot deny how smart that headband is!)

Waiting for "What Not to Wear" hijacking!

Lively in spirit! yeah, that's it!!!!

The Fellowship of Believers Updated

The Fellowship of the Believers Acts 2:42-47
42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

That's how it was then...let's move on to 2008!

I think some people do go to church every morning and my experience on line shows me that things have changed somewhat from the early believers.

Gathering with other believers every day still occurs, and it occurs early!!! It happens in the Christian Living chatroom on AOL. If you are on the West Coast you have to get in there by 4-5 AM. Now that works out for a couple of us who have sleepless nights (Women in Transition). I love that there are people from Indiana, New Hampshire, Missouri, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Virginia, Florida and Michigan as well as California and Washington State, all gathering together as believers in Christ Jesus. The early believers had to hang with folks who were local (which is also wonderful) but we get to learn how to make Indian Bread, and cook southern food, as well as how to "put up peaches." We from the West Coast share about sushi and sprouts.

We have not sold our possessions or our goods because in order to hang out together like the early disciples, necessities like a computer, an ISP, etc. all cost money. The Christian Living people do share greatly to those in need of care, comfort, friendship, prayer, and when my son passed away in 2006, I received a beautiful plant from some friends online who had gone together to let me know they were thinking of me. Others gave to the Blind Center that my son attended and still others sent meaningful cards of condolences. No one can ever tell me that online chat friends are not real. They are. They have sustained me as I was isolated in Idaho, as a nearly homebound caregiver for my son in California, and during the past two years as I have moved through grieving. They have become my church family. (Some are not in Christian Living, but in Christian Forum as well). I just really wanted to write about Christian Living today because it has been such a blessing to me, but don't want anyone feeling left out if they read this and are my friends from the Forum.

We do break bread - most are having coffee and some are talented enough after years of experience to even eat copious amounts of food while typing away as fast as possible. We know who is going to work and where, how many children and grandchildren are born - pictures shared of course! Many of us have met in person and many have gathered as a group in Missouri and Michigan. We know who is struggling and who has come through a storm; we are in it together.

The early morning bunch have great fellowship! There doesn't seem to be a lot of nitpicking about doctrine. No one is demanding to know if you are a Calvinist or Arminian (in 1997 when someone asked me that in Christian Chat, I was stunned. I thot," My goodness, why do they think I am from Armenia?") We come from many different backgrounds and while each of us may celebrate Christ in different ways, we hold in common a faith very dear to each one of us knowing we have been saved by grace alone and that God is in control. Jesus receives our praise - in fact he inhabits it.

We come together with sincere and glad hearts - come join us if you are on AOL! The best time is in the early morning!

Christian Living

--oOo--
I Can Only Imagine

The Queen of England & Other opportunities

Yes, my friend the Queen of England in a wonderful pose that she reserves only for her best friends! She writes to me quite often but for someone of her influence and stature, she somehow ends up in my SPAM folder!!!!! You would think she might have a technology servant who could somehow find a way to get right into my genuine email. I've written her to let her know I really appreciate her emails and have put her into my best buddy list.

Why the fellow in the UK can't get to my acceptable email recipients is beyond me as well; I am very open to cashing in on the lotteries I have won and would be happy to travel to England to negotiate with the attorneys for big businessmen who need my help by setting up an account here in the US. Best deal ever! They promise people will begin to send me large checks and all I have to do is deposit them, take my percentage cut, and then send the rest of the money back to the UK!

At 65 years of age I am receiving many opportunities to get my degree on line. I think I want to be a neurologist and hope they send me the online link soon so I can get my M.D. degree within 18 months! I have no interest in becoming a forensic specialist or a bookkeeper at this late date. I need to garner funds quickly and am pretty sure Kaiser Permanente would hire me with my 18-month degree in a fast minute!

You can imagine my glee when my SPAM mail shocked me with the information that i could lose 6 inches in my thighs in just a week! Let me buy a gross of that as I have more than six inches to lose! And to think they haven't teamed up with the people who say I can trim my tummy in only one month if I would just buy their product with a 30-day money back guarantee!

Bank of America, Wells Fargo all want me to call them immediately because there are problems with my accounts!!! I dont bank at either bank!!! Wait, maybe that is the problem!

These must be working or we would not receive them daily, right? People are bilked everyday; we need to warn them! Some people are just getting started on the Internet and have no idea that people are out to scam them. Early on in terms of computer savvy, one friend told me this: "I got locked up in a box with someone I didn't know and I couldn't get out." (This was an IM on AOL). Today that friend locked in the IM Box can perform a function on comast email that alludes me to this day...cut and paste! She has come a long way!

I'm a sucker for things to buy at 3 am which appear on TV, however ...

“Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God”
Karl Barth ** Swiss Theologian

Alexander Solzhenitsyn - Dec 11, 1918 - August 3, 2008

When I read of the death of one of my favorite authors, memories rushed my mind and heart remembering his book which I read 46 years ago....

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich

was a book that changed my thinking and enlarged my world view in a profound way. Though quite trivial in most of my pursuits at age 19, I did love to read and One Day In the Life was the Book of the Month Club's offering. An unassuming little book physically, it was to become a classic, earning the author a Nobel Peace Prize in Literature in 1970.

Both this work and Gulag Archipelago were sobering, eye-opening, sad, depressing, truthful and shameful. I learned of the suffering inside Communist prison camps via this brilliant author who knew first-hand of such a horrific experience. While he said we cannot really understand that which we have not endured, I do believe his words imprinted strongly on my heart and helped open my eyes to conditions in the world so different than my own.

In one of his poems he writes:"Bless you, prison, for having been in my life." "God of the Universe! I believe again! Though I renounced You, You were with me!"

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus - I Thessalonians 5:18